The Grieving Atheist

I woke up this morning and panicked. I felt an uncomfortable pain running from my shoulders to my hands. My legs felt a bit gooey as well. Could it be a fever? I’ve been around too many people lately, which is to say more than three. According to Facebook memories, I often get sick this time of year. I hate fevers (as opposed to all those people who love them, right?). Was I afflicted?

And then I remembered I took my kid out kayaking yesterday. A two-man kayak, with only one really committed paddler, so extra work. That’s why I hurt. It was earned. It was a good ache.

And that’s the best you can get, really. Humans are going to hurt. Sometimes it’ll just happen to you, and sometimes you’ll really earn it. And when you’ve earned it, it’s better. Because when you earn it, you get the hurt, but you also get the memories, and sometimes the pride. It’s the difference between breaking your leg from slipping on ice to take out the trash and breaking your leg while tackling a black diamond run. One is exciting, perhaps a little foolish, but a story worth telling. One’s just pathetic.

When a loved one dies, it hurts. But if you’ve loved them like crazy, and they loved you, it can be a good ache. You’ve got the memories. You earned it. You can wake up and say, “Ow,” but then you can smile.

So go out there and earn your pain today. Love excessively, run faster, push harder, throw yourself into your life. You might as well.

-My daughter wanted me to dedicate this post to her. So here you go, P. I dedicate this to you, for always contributing to my pain. 😉