Nine Random Misconceptions About Atheists
by Laura
1. We hate God. Absolutely not. We have no bad feelings about God. We rarely, if ever, even consider God. Unlike most believers, we have never questioned Him, cursed Him or felt betrayed by Him. He’s just not a character in our movie, that’s all. Now organized religion is a different story. And again, most of the time, we don’t care about that either. But when organized religions try to spread intolerance and bigotry, influence politics or kill people of other faiths, we get a little miffed.
2. We worship Satan. Nope. I’m afraid not. We don’t believe in him either.
3. We don’t appreciate the good things that happen to us. Of course we do. We just won’t blame God if things go wrong. Remember when Wolf Blitzer asked the atheist tornado survivor in Oklahoma if she thanked God for being spared? She didn’t, but she was grateful just the same. I’m sure she was thrilled that things went the way they did. But she also knows things could have easily gone the other way, and it wouldn’t have been God’s will if they had. Wind kills sometimes. We don’t feel the need to pray to God to make the winds shift. Wind doesn’t have ears. Wind doesn’t care. It just blows. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to believe that God saved me and killed someone else. I mean, that’s seriously messed up. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where I thought some all powerful being was deciding who would be killed and spared that day. That’s sick. It’s just wind. It happens.
4. We’re immoral. Psst. A little inside info here… You don’t need religion to have a moral code.
What!? No way! Get out of town!
Oh yes, my friend. It’s true. You can have a personal philosophy on what is right and wrong without believing in God. Guidance from parents probably plays a big part in this.
Wait, wait. You mean religious parents. Maybe you only know right and wrong because your parents were religious and you chose to betray them! Ha!
Ha yourself. My parents were atheists, too. Morality comes from all over the place. And perhaps some, or a lot of it, is innate. I can’t say for certain, although animal studies do seem to support this theory. (Google it. Fascinating stuff. Rats can be altruistic.)
5. We hate Christmas. Okay, now I don’t know anyone who hates Christmas. My atheist friends like Christmas. My Jewish friends like Christmas. It’s a day off. The music is kind of nice, in short bursts. Twinkle lights are adorable. Nobody wants to wage war on Christmas. Some of us are a little uncomfortable with nativities on government property, but it says “God” right there on our money every day of the year, and I don’t know anybody who wants to wage war on cash. Let it go. We’re not out to ruin your Christmas.
6. We think about atheism all the time and are “just as bad” as other religious fanatics. Yeah, we really, really don’t. I mean, some are. Some activists have made names for themselves by speaking out, but that’s become their “thing.” And a few of us are vocal, simply because the whole business is kind of unfair and frustrating and we’re tired of being a marginalized, yet rapidly growing community. But we’re just living our lives, for the most part. The vast majority of agnostics and atheists hardly think about it at all. Because there isn’t much to think about. Religion is not a part of our lives.
Oh yeah, well you have the word ‘atheist’ right there in your web address.
I do. Because I wanted to make it clear from the start that I am not looking for any kind of religious support or encouragement. And because grief really is different for those without faith.
If you truly believe you will see your loved one again when you die, you are simply missing someone. And that sucks, too, no doubt. But you think it’s just a matter of time. Atheists don’t think that way. We don’t anticipate a reunion. Ever. Not at the moment of death. Not after death. Not for eternity. Never again. Ever. And we don’t think our loved ones are playing with Jesus or hanging out with long-dead Grandpa Al or watching over us and applauding our successes from above. They are just gone, and that’s a really hard thing to handle. So hard, in fact, that many of us believe it’s the whole reason why God was invented, to make it make sense, to make it less awful, to soften the blow of reality. This doesn’t mean we always like reality. We’re just trying to live with it.
7. We don’t want to play by the rules because we’re kinky weirdos. Yeah, a lot of us think it’s okay to be gay. Or get divorced. Or treat women as equals. But here’s the thing, we don’t find anything taboo about that. So while believers seem to “get off” on doing naughty things behind God’s back, we just do what we do. Which state consumes the most porn? Utah. End of story.
8. Nothing significant, miraculous or truly horrible has ever happened to us to make us believe. This is my mother in law’s favorite. Sorry, MIL, but most of us have experienced the full range of human experiences and emotions and have still come to the conclusion that God is an invention or unproved concept. We have had near death experiences, given birth, fallen in love, lost loved ones, suffered with disease, seen tornadoes and hurricanes and fires, been beaten down and crawled back up, witnessed things we couldn’t explain, even been in foxholes… and still, no.
9. We’re arrogant. Nope. We’re humble. We don’t believe in a God that is the one true God, better than your God, whose rules must be followed or else. We don’t think we have the answers. We don’t think you have the answers. We don’t think we’re important enough to be personally watched and judged by a supreme being. We don’t pray to request. We don’t pray to thank. We still have our quiet moments. We still want the best for those around us. We still think about those in need, although we believe we can serve them best by doing something for them. We still want to help. We still crave community. We still want to live meaningful lives. On the whole, we’re pretty decent people, just like you.
The Grieving Atheist 
Well said. Especially the part about women being equals. XD
You know, you are totally right. We Christians very easily get the wrong conseptions about atheists! Thats bad, sad, wrong and all those things at the same time – but many of us do have experience with atheists, both humble and not so humble ones, to get some generalized conceptions right.
I got tempted to write posts like “Nine Random Misconceptions Atheists Have About Christians” and “Nine Random Misconceptions Atheists Have About The Christan God”, because there is several misconceptions that atheist and agnostics have about us too, that are so wrong and makes me want to correct them som badly.
Your post is not an exeption (if you want to me to explain, please ask, and I can elaborate with some examples), but it does not matter – we christians need to listen to your message in this post more than you need to hear ours. Too often I am ashamed of what comes out of the mouth from fellow christans, even close ones and sometimes even myself.
Hello, John. Thank you for taking an interest in my post. It should really really be titled “Nine Things You Shouldn’t Immediately Assume About Atheists,” because we do come in all philosophical shapes and sizes. And there is no speaking for all of us, really, because we’re unaffiliated. We have one thing in common, but, because it’s not a thing that matters to most of us, we’re all just going about things our own way.
Of course it’s harder to avoid making sweeping generalizations about believers, because they’re usually affiliated with a group whose laws and beliefs are known. I know a great many loving, decent, tolerant religious people, but all of them have bent the rules a little bit. They pick and choose what they like best about their religions and reject the parts that are outdated or cruel. Many of my Catholic friends have no problem with divorce or premarital sex, yet they still call themselves Catholics. Now to me, that’s like saying, “I’m a vegetarian. But sometimes I eat chicken.” If you’re a vegetarian, I believe I have a right to assume you don’t eat meat. And if you’re a Catholic, I have the right to assume you think living a homosexual lifestyle is wrong. That’s not a misconception. That’s how you’ve presented yourself.
Believe it or not, atheists are much the same as christians. We too come in all philosophical shapes and sizes. We also have ones that thinks for themselvs and the ones that do not. We are also mostly “just going about things our own way”. We also have they that turn our heads away from some things and towards other. The common delimiter is that we are human.
It’s not the set of rules that makes us the way we are, bad or good, but it’s easier to blame the rules(the affiliation) because they seems so concrete. The truth is that it’s a complex issue. It’s easy to say that we are picking rules from the book as we please, but more often it’s lack of interest, character, knowledge or other totally human qualities that makes us fail, and then we misuse the book to support our views. It is mostly us, not the one we believe in(if he should exist or not). Because many atheists also lack a truthfull interest in the divine they are satisfied with impressions they get from us – those representing the divine – and thus end up disagreeing with what is merley the shaddow of the real deal.
So, when I present myself as a christian, atheists tend to assume a lot about me and my beliefs – mostly wrong. They often claim that they know what I believe better than I do myself, by quoting the book assuming I don’t know it’s in there. Usually, they don’t understand much of my beliefs, and not do they want to try to look behind the curtain. They have mostly seen the wrong side of christianity presented by someone falsly, poorly or partly – and they believe thats it. But it’s not.
Dear Laura,
Homosexuals do not have a “lifestyle” — they have lives. The use of the term “lifestyle” implies a choice — that one could put on or take off a “lifestyle” like a set of clothes. Please avoid that term. Thanks.
I wasn’t sure how to phrase it because I believe it’s acting on one’s homosexual urges that they consider a sin, not just having homosexual thoughts. I considered whether or not I would say I live a heterosexual lifestyle, and decided I probably do, yes, because I’m not celibate. I’m open to suggestions if you can think of a better way to phrase it. I wasn’t entirely pleased with the phrase either, but wasn’t sure how to get my point across.
Thank you for this. Your post will be near the top of my list of places to point to if I feel the need to explain my brain to a believer.